Bumps, Humps & Lumps: My Road to Slowing the F*&# Down

I was a timid driver at 16. I remember driving into the neighborhood strip mall and not being able to get the car over the speed bump in the parking lot. I rolled up to the top and then, embarrassingly, rolled backward, requiring that I give it more gas to heave awkwardly and noisily over the bump. Not my finest moment and over the years I’ve gotten much more aggressive, but so have the speed bumps!

In fact, somewhere along the way, speed bumps turned into speed humps.

Now when I think about humps, I think camels, whales, Wednesdays, weird scary bell ringers in cathedrals. Not something I need to drive over. Nonetheless, they are there and my interpretation is that they are meant to be bigger than a bump, on busier roads, intent on slowing me down more than a normal bump.

And then there are the lumps. Yes, a lump in the road, which is just plain odd and I sincerely want to meet the City planner who came up with the name. Obviously, rhyming with bump and hump was a requirement. Stump was out because this wasn’t a tree remnant in the road. Clump might have been considered but it sounds like a lot of things clustered together, and while this is a cluster of sorts . . . it remains a single large object. Chump might have worked in this case, because I saw this sign as I was leaving a bad relationship for the last time, but that’s a whole ‘nuther blog. So, lump it is and this time it’s purpose was to slow me down even more. (In fact, I obviously stopped to take the picture, so it really slowed me down.)

All of which is a metaphor for my own personal lump which appeared during my routine annual mammogram this year. I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer and am currently recovering from surgery while awaiting test results to determine the next course of treatment. I feel very lucky. My doctors are telling me I’m young! I’m healthy, positive and surrounded by loving, caring friends and family.

I’m taking this lump in my personal road as a sign to slow the f*&# down, which may be the hardest thing about this journey. For someone who has been active, independent and constantly planning her next adventure, waiting patiently isn’t coming easily. In fact, I’m viewing this as my speed table; a longer, flatter impediment that will take some time to get over. But get over it, I will.

My gypsy soul needs to travel a new road for a little while and I’m finding the view is just dandy. It’s filled with reflection on what is truly important to me; it’s filled with acceptance that life is precious and must be lived each day to it’s fullest; and it’s filled with gratitude for all my adventures past, present and yet to come.